In this section we discuss:
How your PRIMARY personality type meshes with others.
How your SECONDARY personality traits meshes with others.
Issues that may arise due to your basic personality signature and that of your partner.
You: Explorer/Negotiator
with
Partner: Builder/Director
How your primary types work together:
The Explorer and Builder can make a dramatically effective match. You are polar opposites. But as an Explorer, your energy, curiosity and need for adventure can be deeply appealing to the more cautious and conventional Builder. He/she is likely to be charmed by your creativity, as well as eager to plan your escapades and join you. Moreover, you are likely to be drawn to the Builder’s stability, sense of tradition and earnest drive to build family and community.
Moreover, the Builder will work patiently to stabilize the relationship and build for the future—going way out of his/her way to protect and provide. And you tend to be flexible, optimistic and grateful for the Builder’s loyalty, competence and stamina. So together you will have both adventure and security.
How your secondary types work together:
The Negotiator and Director naturally complement one another. Although very different, your thinking meshes. Both of you dislike wasting time on superficial conversations; instead you both enjoy talking about the arts, philosophy, literature, science and/or politics. As the Negotiator, you tend to see all the angles too, the big picture, while the Director’s focus is likely to be deep and narrow. So you can surprise and delight each other with your knowledge and ideas. Moreover, both of you are mentally flexible, inventive and theoretical—so you are likely to develop a real sense of intellectual and emotional unity.
You also have an exciting blend of social talents. The Director can be blunt, while you are likely to excel at putting others at ease with your excellent verbal and people skills. The Director will be drawn to your natural warmth, enthusiasm and tender-heartedness. And you are likely to admire the Director’s sense of independence, self-discipline, forthrightness and goal-oriented ability to make decisions.
Look out for:
A Builder might, at times, be too traditional, orderly and cautious to live up to your need for excitement, novelty and adventure. Moreover, you may sometimes be frustrated by the Director’s tough-mindedness, skepticism and lack of introspection. But you are a great team for reaching an effective solution to most problems, as well as developing strong business and community networks. And with your difference approaches to life, you may continue to amaze and enchant one another.
You: Negotiator/ Explorer
with
Partner: Director/Builder
How your primary types work together:
The Negotiator and Director naturally complement one another. Although very different, your thinking meshes. Both of you dislike wasting time on superficial conversations; instead you both enjoy talking about the arts, philosophy, literature, science and/or politics. You tend to see all the angles too, the big picture, while the Director’s focus is likely to be deep and narrow. So you can surprise and delight each other with your knowledge and ideas. Moreover, both of you are mentally flexible, inventive and theoretical—so you are likely to develop a real sense of intellectual and emotional unity.
You also have an exciting blend of social talents. The Director can be blunt, while you are likely to excel at putting others at ease with your excellent verbal and people skills. The Director will be drawn to your natural warmth, enthusiasm and tender-heartedness. And you are likely to admire the Director’s sense of independence, self- discipline, forthrightness and goal-oriented ability to make decisions.
How your secondary types work together:
The Explorer and Builder can develop a dramatically effective match. In your secondary traits, you are polar opposites. But, as an Explorer, your energy, curiosity and need for adventure can be deeply appealing to the more cautious and conventional Builder. He/she is likely to be charmed by your creativity, as well as eager to plan your escapades and join you. Moreover, you are likely to be drawn to the Builder’s stability, sense of tradition and earnest drive to build family and community.
The Explorer and Builder both bring great strengths to the relationship. The Builder works patiently to stabilize the partnership and build for the future—going way out of his/her way to protect and provide. And you tend to be flexible, optimistic and grateful for the Builder’s loyalty, competence and stamina. Together you will have both adventure and security.
Look out for:
Generally, a Director is not emotionally expressive. This aloof self control might disappoint you at times. Moreover, you may sometimes be frustrated by the Director’s tough-mindedness, skepticism and lack of introspection. As a Builder, he/she might be also too traditional, orderly and cautious to live up to your constant need for excitement, novelty and adventure. But if you put your hearts and heads together you can make an exciting and formidable match.
You: Builder/Director
with
Partner: Builder/Director
How your primary types work together:
Two Builders make a highly compatible and natural match. You both tend to be outwardly calm, socially skilled and interested in building and maintaining family, community and business relations. You will make a great team working together to create a stable network of close friends.
Builders also tend to be cautious and traditional; you both like the familiar and the tried and true. So neither of you will push the other out of his/her comfort zone. Both of you are likely to have strong values, too. So you will easily understand one another and come to feel a deep trust in and unity with your partner. Making plans, sticking to schedules and respecting the rules is another mutual strength. Moreover, you are both likely to be modest and loyal to your duties, your beliefs and one another.
How your secondary types work together:
When two Directors fall in love, they can be thrilling company for each other. Both are highly analytical, exacting, informed and competent. They focus deeply on their interests and want to learn about yours. So conversations can be detailed, inventive, theoretical and magnetic. Directors are natural “mind mates.”
Moreover, Directors say what they mean. They are direct and decisive and can appreciate this style in their partner. Both also like to debate; and both can appreciate the skeptical, assertive approach of the other. Directors are also emotionally contained; so both are likely to understand that still waters run deep: their love, though not often expressed in words, is deep and real.
What to look out for:
Builders have strong, often unbendable, values; they believe there is a “right” thing to do and a “right” way to do it. So two Builders can butt heads when their values don’t mesh. Builders can be critical, too; they can argue over trivial matters. And two Directors can become overly competitive with one another, even in a game of cards. But these bumps in the road usually take a back seat to the Builder’s (and the Director’s) indefatigable desire to honor their romantic commitments and build an enduring partnership.
You: Director/Builder
with
Partner: Builder/Director
How your primary types work together:
The Director and Builder are very different in their skills and approach to life. As a Director, you tend to be straightforward, have a few close friends, pursue deep intellectual interests and have an inventive, irreverent nature. The Builder, on the other hand, tends to be interested in building a wide social network; they are also more socially savvy, more cautious, more concrete in their thinking, more conventional, and more eager to follow social rules and respect authority.
But, as a team, you bring a great deal of strength to your partnership. You both tend to be orderly and efficient, emotionally contained, realistic and pragmatic. Loyalty is important to both of you, too. And you both know how to have fun together--with the Builder’s relaxed, patient attitude and social charm a pleasant counterpoint to your creativity and daring.
How your secondary types work together:
Your secondary types work well together too, as they are similar to your primary types, although in the reverse. You are both detail oriented, meticulous, and focused. And you share an interesting mix of ambition, fortitude, traditionalism and dedication to family and career.
What to look out for:
Because you both have a lot of the traits of the Director, you might find yourselves overly competitive with one another. Moreover, Builders believe there is a “right” way to do just about anything; so when two Builder’s disagree, either or both can become stubborn. Try to avoid arguments over trivial matters. Nevertheless, despite some major differences in temperament, Directors and Builders can be devoted to home and family, as well as dedicated to making their partnership fun and lasting. You are a great team for success in business too.
You: Builder/Negotiator
with
Partner: Explorer/Negotiator
How your primary types work together:
The Builder and Explorer are polar opposites. But, as a Builder, you can be very drawn to the energy, curiosity and adventure that the Explorer offers. And he/she is likely to be attracted to your cooperative, cautious and steady nature, seeing you as someone they can depend on and draw into their exciting world.
The Builder and Explorer bring other great strengths to the relationship. You bring your cooperative managerial savvy, ability to plan, respect for tradition and earnest drive to build family and community. And you are likely to work patiently to build the partnership—going way out of your way to protect and provide. Moreover, the Explorer is likely to be flexible, optimistic and grateful for your loyalty, competence and stamina. Together you will have a good mix of adventure and security.
How your secondary types work together:
Negotiators are true idealists; they are looking for a soul mate, the perfect partner. And when two Negotiators fall in love, they can feel as if their dreams have come true. You both want to share, connect and talk together about everything; and you have the innate talents to do it gracefully. Moreover, you both tend to have verbal and people skills; you are both likely to be tender-hearted, agreeable and mentally flexible; and you both want to please—hoping to bring beauty, passion and intimacy to the partnership.
Look out for:
As a Builder, you might get frustrated with the Explorer’s regular need for stimulation and adventure, be it mental or physical exploration. Moreover, two Negotiators can have trouble making up their minds; both can be indecisive. They can also think too much about the partnership, over-analyzing every statement and event--imbuing every action with complex meaning. Nevertheless, you are both likely to have fine social skills, a deep drive to seek harmony, and the intuition to understand what your partner needs. You will have a lot of fun talking about a wide range of topics and getting to know one another on a deep and authentic level.
You: Builder/Negotiator
with
Partner: Negotiator/Explorer
How your primary types work together:
The Builder and Negotiator bring very different talents to their match. As a Builder, you can be very drawn to the imagination, big picture view and empathy of the Negotiator. And the Negotiator is likely to be attracted to your cooperative and cautious nature, your dependability and your “can-do” determination.
The Builder and Negotiator bring other great strengths to their relationship. You bring your concrete ideas, managerial savvy, ability to plan, respect for tradition and dedication to building family, friends and business networks. And the Negotiator will offer a lot of lively energy and optimism, as well as new interests and ideas. Negotiators are also highly romantic, something that will charm you. And you are both likely to work patiently to build a solid partnership—both going way out of your way to protect and provide.
How your secondary types work together:
The Negotiator and Explorer match can be exciting. Explorers tend to be highly creative while Negotiators are very imaginative; and both are mentally flexible, tend to have a lot of interests, and are eager to share and explore. So both of you will be eager to engage in a range of mental, physical and/or social adventures together.
Look out for:
The Builder and Negotiator tend to have different attitudes about the world and their place in it. You can be put off by a Negotiator’s more intense emotions, constant rumination, introspection and indecisiveness. The Negotiator might, at times, find you too practical, down-to-earth and unbending about schedules and routines. In spite of these differences, you are both nest-makers. And if you continue to appreciate your differences, you can build a warm, orderly home, a wide network of friends and family, and have some exciting adventures together.
You: Director/Builder
with
Partner: Explorer/Negotiator
How your primary types work together:
You have some powerful things in common. Both Directors and Explorers like to play with ideas. But you are likely to have an in-depth knowledge of a few complex topics, while the Explorer will have broader interests. The Explorer will like your analytical, resourceful mind; and you are likely to admire the Explorer’s curiosity, originality and breadth of knowledge. You will both enjoy learning from one another. Moreover, the Explorer is likely to enjoy your forthrightness, while you can be charmed by the Explorer’s free and easy way with people.
Both types also tend to be self-sufficient, irreverent and daring--and appreciate these qualities in the other. And because you are both mentally flexible, open-minded and dedicated to your interests, neither is likely to be overly demanding of the other’s time—giving each of you the freedom you need to pursue your individual goals.
How your secondary types work together:
A Negotiator will probably be attracted to your dependability, self-confidence, ability to plan and conscientiousness, traits of the Builder; while you will like the energy, optimism and compassion of a Negotiator. And you are both likely to be dedicated to making a stable partnership based on respect, romance and shared values.
Look out for:
As a Director, you may be far more skeptical, self disciplined and emotionally-contained than the Explorer, so you might find, at times, that the Explorer is too spontaneous, restless and thrill seeking. And because you generally like to get to the point, you can grow impatient with the Explorer who avoids frank conversations, debate and confrontation of any kind. But you are both resourceful, indeed often ingenious; and you both have a lot of energy and determination. So you may continue to be enchanted by one another’s substantive ideas and originality, as well as forge a strong family life together.
You: Director/Builder
with
Partner: Director/Explorer
How your primary types work together:
When two Directors fall in love, they can be thrilling company for each other. Both are highly analytical, informed, exacting and competent. Directors focus deeply on their interests and want to learn about those of their partner. So conversations can be detailed, inventive, theoretical and magnetic. Directors are natural “mind mates.” Moreover, they easily appreciate each other’s skeptical, realistic approach to data, ideas, people and social activities.
Directors also say what they mean. They are direct and decisive; both also like to debate; and both can appreciate the competitiveness and forthrightness of the other. Neither will be interested in building elaborate social networks either; both want substantive conversations with a few close friends. Moreover, Directors are emotionally contained; so both naturally understand that still waters run deep: their love will be vibrant--yet perhaps not often verbally expressed.
How your secondary types work together:
The Builder and Explorer are polar opposites. But, as a Builder, you can be very drawn to the energy, curiosity and adventure that the Explorer offers. And he/she is likely to be attracted to your grounded, outwardly calm, and cooperative nature. Moreover, you bring managerial savvy, the ability to plan, a love of tradition and a willingness to work patiently to build the partnership. Meanwhile, the Explorer is likely to be flexible, optimistic and grateful for your loyalty, competence and stamina. Together you will have both adventure and security.
Look out for:
Directors can be workaholics, wrapped up in their business and/or hobbies. So be sure to spend real time together. You also both like to debate, so be careful not to become too competitive with one another. But if you make time for each other and argue constructively, you are likely to make a deeply satisfying partnership, based on loyalty, a shared vision of the future and deeply satisfying conversations as “mind mates.”
You: Explorer/Director
with
Partner: Negotiator/Explorer
How your primary types work together:
The Explorer and Negotiator are a wonderful team for playing with ideas or taking off on other intellectual or physical adventures. Explorers tend to be highly creative, while Negotiators are very imaginative; and both are mentally flexible, curious, theoretical and eager to pursue wide-ranging conversations. You will admire the Negotiator’s good-heartedness and win-win attitude; and the Negotiator will appreciate your energetic and spontaneous approach to life.
Although you tend to avoid showing your true feelings, you can be intrigued by a Negotiator’s emotional transparency and need to sustain the romance. You will also appreciate how trusting, patient and compassionate a Negotiator can be; while the Negotiator will love your playfulness, originality and need for novelty.
How your secondary types work together:
You have some powerful things in common. Both Directors and Explorers are theoretical and inventive. But you are likely to have in-depth knowledge of a few complex topics, while the Explorer will have broader interests. The Explorer will like your analytical, resourceful, exacting mind; and you are likely to admire the Explorer’s curiosity, creativity and breadth of knowledge.
Moreover, the Explorer will be amazed at your forthrightness, while you may be charmed by the Explorer’s free and easy way with people. Both types also tend to be self-sufficient, irreverent and daring, and appreciate these qualities in the other. And because you are both mentally flexible, open-minded and dedicated to your interests, neither is likely to be overly demanding of the other’s time—giving each of you the freedom you need to pursue your individual goals.
Look out for:
A Negotiator will want to have a deeply intimate connection with you that you may find suffocating at times. Explorers look out, not in. And while you tend to forget quarrels quickly, the Negotiator remembers. So wounds can fester as the Negotiator builds a grudge about something you have entirely forgotten. But you are both mentally flexible, and inclined to overlook the bumps in the road and persevere. Most important, both of you are adventurous and playful. You will never be bored with one another.
You: Negotiator/Explorer
with
Partner: Negotiator/Explorer
How your primary types work together:
When two Negotiators fall in love, it can be a dream come true. You both want to connect, share and talk authentically together about everything meaningful and/or philosophical. And because you both see the big picture, are introspective, and tend to have superb verbal and people skills, you will communicate effectively much of the time.
You are also both dedicated to romance. Both of you like to create loving (almost daily) rituals to keep the passion sparkling. You both tend to be agreeable, empathetic, intuitive, forgiving and mentally flexible as well. You want to please, and to bring beauty, passion and intimacy to the partnership. Moreover, you are both likely to be spiritual; indeed you may find in one another what you have always wanted: a soul mate.
How your secondary types work together:
Two Explorers can have great fun doing things together, as they both love to learn and tend to play hard, fast and creatively. Explorers are also very flexible about rules and schedules, as well as optimistic, spontaneous, curious and daring. And your mutual adaptability, irreverence and optimism will keep each other’s spirits up when life gets tough.
Look out for:
The Negotiator can overanalyze anything--misreading intentions and exaggerating minor problems in the relationship. Try not to dissect every interaction with your partner. In their need to understand and connect with their partner, Negotiators can also emotionally suffocate him/her, allowing little privacy or autonomy. And Negotiators, like Explorers, avoid confrontation; so relationship troubles can go on and on. But when a Negotiator finds this soul mate, they are likely to go to the ends of the earth to make the relationship adventurous, romantic and durable.
You: Explorer/Builder
with:
Partner: Explorer/Builder
How your primary types work together:
Two Explorers can have great fun doing things together, as they both love to learn, have many interests and tend to be spontaneous and daring. The two of you will seek—and find—novelty and adventure together. Moreover, Explorers are very flexible about rules, schedules and plans. So unexpected and intriguing things can happen at the last minute. You are also likely to surprise one another with creative gifts or romantic gestures on an otherwise ordinary day.
Explorers tend to be independent-minded and emotionally guarded; so neither of you is likely to smother the other, or delve into the other’s privacy with probing discussions about the relationship. You both look out, not in. Moreover, you both tend to look on the bright side of life; and this mutual adaptability, irreverence and light touch will keep both of your spirits up when life gets bumpy.
How your secondary types work together:
Builders are far more attracted to other Builders than to any other type; they are also more likely to get married. This is a highly compatible match, as you both tend to be devoted to building solid family, social and business networks.
Look out for:
Explorers prefer to avoid frank conversations about the relationship; so problems can fester. They are also extremely independent, and often fearful of deep emotional intimacy. Moreover, they are chameleons, because they are so adaptable. So despite their charm, Explorers can be emotionally illusive and hard to get to know. Their flirtatious charisma can lead to problems too. But when two Explorers can work out their differences, learn to trust and be trustworthy, they can make a thrilling life together.
You: Builder/Director
with
Partner: Director/Builder
How your primary types work together:
The Builder and Director are very different in their skills and approach to life. As a Builder you tend to be interested in building a wide social network; you like to honor social traditions and fit in. And you tend to be conscientious, cautious, concrete and orderly, as well as eager to make plans and keep schedules. The Director, on the other hand, tends to be direct and tough minded, maintain a few close friendships, pursue their intellectual interests thoroughly and deeply, and have an inventive and irreverent nature.
But, as a team, you bring a great deal of strength to your partnership. You both tend to be orderly and efficient, emotionally contained, realistic and pragmatic. Loyalty is important to both of you. And you both know how to have fun together--with the Builder’s patient attitude and social savvy a pleasant counterpoint to the Director’s tough-minded creativity and daring.
How your secondary types work together:
Your secondary types work well together too. Because you are secondarily a Director, you will be likely to understand, even appreciate, your partner’s primarily qualities--particularly their bold, independent, creative spirit. And your partner is likely to understand your primary need to maintain wide stable social networks, as well as respect and admire your steady values.
What to look out for:
As a Builder you are probably less openly competitive than the Director, who likes to debate and say exactly what he/she means. So you may come to regard the Director’s forthrightness as abrasive. You may also be disappointed when the Directors skips or shows up late to the social engagements that are important to you. And because you may find it relaxing to discuss trivia, such as the weather, sports or people, you may get frustrated by the Director’s constant need for deep, substantive or theoretical conversation. Regardless, the Builder and Director both have skills the other needs. Both can be loyal and devoted to home and family, as well as dedicated to making their partnership fun and lasting. This mental partnership can also be very useful to success in business because Builders make good managers and Directors are daring and experimental.
You: Explorer/Negotiator
with
Partner: Director/Builder
How your primary types work together:
You have some powerful things in common. Both Explorers and Directors are theoretical, original and inventive, and often love playing with ideas. So you will quickly find topics of mutual interest and have satisfying, even exciting conversations. But you are likely to have broader interests, while the Director will have in-depth knowledge of fewer but perhaps more complex topics. Nevertheless, the Director is likely to admire your curiosity, creativity and breadth of knowledge, while you will enjoy the Director’s analytical, resourceful and informed mind.
Both types also tend to be highly independent, irreverent and daring, and each will appreciate these qualities in the other. Because you are both deeply engaged in your own projects, neither is likely to be overly possessive of the other’s time either. And you will probably marvel at the Director’s forthright directness; while the Director will be charmed by your free and easy way with people.
How your secondary types work together:
You will probably be attracted to the Builder’s dependability, self-confidence, conscientiousness, and ability to meet schedules and honor traditions. While a Builder will be charmed by your optimism, compassion and people savvy. You are both likely to enjoy planning for the future. And you will both be dedicated to making a stable partnership based on respect, romance, and shared values.
Look out for:
As an Explorer, you are likely to be far more spontaneous than the Director. So, at times, you might find the Director to be too reserved and unwilling to go with the flow; while the Director might come to regard your impulsivity as unrestrained chaos. Moreover, the Director can be more focused and goal-oriented; while the Explorer likes to enjoy his/her many varied interests. So you may feel that the Director has tunnel-vision; while the Director could come to regard you as unfocused, and either frenetic or lazy. But you are both independent, informed, irreverent and creative. Together you can have a lot of fun exchanging ideas, and you can make a strong partnership based on respect, trust and true fascination with one another. Life won’t be boring.
You: Director/Explorer
with:
Partner: Negotiator/Director
How your primary types work together:
The Director and Negotiator naturally complement one another. Although very different, your thinking meshes. Both of you dislike wasting time on superficial conversations; instead you both enjoy talking about the arts, philosophy, literature, science and/or politics. Moreover, your focus is likely to be deep and narrow; while the Negotiator tends to see all the angles, the big picture. So you can surprise and delight each other with your knowledge and ideas. Moreover, both of you are mentally flexible, inventive and theoretical—giving you a real sense of intellectual and emotional unity.
You also have an exciting blend of social talents. You tend to be forthright, concise and decisive; while the Negotiator is more socially nuanced, compassionate and better at putting others at ease with their verbal and people skills. You will be drawn to the Negotiator’s natural warmth, enthusiasm and tender-heartedness. And the Negotiator will admire your sense of independence, self-discipline, frankness and goal-oriented ability to make decisions. Together you are a great team for making difficult decisions.
How your secondary types work together:
You have some other powerful things in common. Both Explorers and Directors are theoretical, inventive and original, and love playing with ideas. So when you find topics of mutual interest, your conversations will be exciting. The Director is likely to admire your curiosity, creativity and breadth of knowledge, while you will enjoy the Director’s analytical, informed mind.
Both types also tend to be highly independent, irreverent and daring, so each will appreciate these qualities in the other. Because you are also both deeply engaged in your own projects, neither is likely to be overly possessive of the other’s time either. This trait in the Director is likely to be very comforting to a freedom-loving Explorer like you.
Look out for:
As a Director, you are not likely to be very introspective; you enjoy looking out, not in. So the ruminating, self-examining Negotiator might push you to be emotionally expressive and self-revealing—things outside your comfort zone. You may also find the Negotiator to be indecisive and impractical, traits you don’t always respect. But this is a powerful union. The Director needs the verbal talents, people skills and compassion of the Negotiator; and the Negotiator needs the decisive, forthright, tough-minded, independent spirit of the Director. It’s a natural, exciting and formidable match.
You: Negotiator/Director
with
Partner: Explorer/Negotiator
How your primary types work together:
The Negotiator and Explorer both like playing with ideas and/or taking off on intellectual or physical adventures together. Both are imaginative, mentally flexible, curious, theoretical and eager to pursue wide-ranging conversations and experiences. So you are both likely to feel a real sense of intellectual and emotional unity as you explore the universe together. You will also appreciate the Explorer’s energetic and spontaneous approach to life; and the Explorer will admire your compassion, intuition and win-win attitude.
You are also playful and romantic, traits the Explorer will particularly enjoy. The Explorer is not comfortable showing his/her deeper feelings; so they can be intrigued by your emotional expression and transparency. The Explorer will also appreciate how trusting and patient you can be. And you will be attracted to the Explorer’s sense of adventure and irreverent originality.
How your secondary types work together:
The Director and Negotiator naturally complement one another. Although very different, your thinking meshes. Both of you dislike wasting time on superficial chat; instead you seek substantive conversations about the arts, philosophy, literature, science and/or politics. Moreover, your focus is likely to be deeper; while the Negotiator tends to see all the angles, the big picture. So you can surprise and delight each other with your knowledge and opinions.
You also have an exciting blend of social talents. You tend to be forthright, concise and decisive; while the Negotiator is more socially nuanced, and better at putting others at ease with their verbal and people skills. You will be drawn to the Negotiator’s natural warmth and enthusiasm. And the Negotiator will admire your independence, self-discipline and ability to make decisions. Together you are a great team for making difficult decisions.
Look out for:
As a Negotiator, you will want to make a deeply intimate connection with your partner, something an Explorer may find intrusive at times—leaving you feeling evaded while he/she feels invaded. Moreover, Explorers tend to forget quarrels quickly, whereas you are naturally inclined to remember the problems and more easily hold a grudge. But your mutual playfulness, adaptability and adventurous times together will enable both of you to overlook the stumbling blocks to build an exciting and deeply rewarding partnership.
You: Negotiator/Explorer
with
Partner: Builder/Negotiator
How your primary types work together:
The Negotiator and Builder bring very different talents to their match. As a Negotiator, you are likely to be attracted to the Builder’s balanced, self-confident and cautious nature, his/her dependability and can-do determination; while the Builder will be drawn to your imagination, big picture view and tender-hearted compassion.
The Negotiator and Builder bring other great strengths to their relationship. You are enthusiastic and optimistic; you will provide the Builder with a lot of lively energy, as well as new interests and ideas and continual romance. While the Builder will provide concrete ideas, managerial savvy, a taste for order, rules and schedules, and a deep love of family and traditional. Moreover, you are both likely to work patiently to build a solid partnership—both going way out of your way to protect and provide.
How your secondary types work together:
The Explorer and Negotiator are a wonderful combination for playing with ideas or taking off on intellectual or physical adventures together. Both are mentally flexible, curious, theoretical and eager to pursue wide-ranging conversations. You will admire the Negotiator’s good-heartedness and win-win attitude; and the Negotiator will appreciate your energetic and spontaneous approach to life. You will also appreciate how trusting, patient and compassionate a Negotiator can be; while the Negotiator will love your sense of adventure, liveliness and originality.
Look out for:
The Negotiator and Builder have very different attitudes about the world and their place in it. A Builder can be put off by a your intense emotions, your ability to change your mind seemingly randomly, and your indecisiveness. And you might find a Builder too practical, down-to-earth, rule bound and set in their ways. In spite of these differences, you both are nest-makers, both highly respectful of your partner’s needs, and both determined to do what it takes to make a solid, joyful relationship. Together you can make a deeply satisfying partnership.
See Helen’s book: Why Him? Why Her? for the fullest description of these personality styles and how to use them at love and work.