Dr. Gary Lewandowski developed this quiz because he found that an important part of love is a feeling of self-expansion. What is that?
He thinks that when we fall in love it feels so good because it is a very rapid expansion of the self—we feel like a new person. We can do anything! The world is a beautiful place.
This quiz isn’t just about how MUCH in love you are, but how good the relationship is—is this a healthy love/romance? Some people use it to explore their marriage relationship.
Dr. Lewandowski has done a lot of other research that is interesting.
The quiz appeared previously here.
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Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you feel. Give each statement a “score”. 1=“Not Very Much,” 7=“Very Much.”
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- The Self-Expansion Questionnaire 0%
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MODERATELY EXPANSIVE (45 – 60)
Your relationship has led to changes in your life and good, new experiences. There may be room for improvement, or maybe it is just right for you. Try looking at the quiz again to see if there is anything you can learn from it. It’s very likely that the attachment system in your brain is active when you look at your sweetheart!HOW OTHERS SCORE:
HIGHLY EXPANSIVE (60 OR GREATER)
You are in love, perhaps in the early stage of a relationship! You are having a lot of new experiences and feelings about yourself. This can be very good for a sustainable relationship. It can be harder if you lose the relationship, though. Be sure that you are learning and “expanding” by yourself, too. Almost for sure, your reward system in primitive parts of your brain is active when you look at your romantic partner.LOW CONNECTION (45 OR LESS)
Your relationship is not creating opportunities that help expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to share new experiences with your partner to improve your relationship.As Tara Parker Pope said in the New York Times, “Studies show that the more self-expansion a person experiences through their partner, the more satisfied and committed they are to the relationship.”
To learn more about the science of sustainable relationships, read the NY Times article, “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage.”
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HIGHLY EXPANSIVE (60 OR GREATER)
You are in love, perhaps in the early stage of a relationship! You are having a lot of new experiences and feelings about yourself. This can be very good for a sustainable relationship. It can be harder if you lose the relationship, though. Be sure that you are learning and “expanding” by yourself, too. Almost for sure, your reward system in primitive parts of your brain is active when you look at your romantic partner.Try looking at the quiz again to see if there is anything you can learn from it.
HOW OTHERS SCORE:
MODERATELY EXPANSIVE (45 – 60)
Your relationship has led to changes in your life and good, new experiences. There may be room for improvement, or maybe it is just right for you.LOW CONNECTION (45 OR LESS)
Your relationship is not creating opportunities that help expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to share new experiences with your partner to improve your relationship.As Tara Parker Pope said in the New York Times, “Studies show that the more self-expansion a person experiences through their partner, the more satisfied and committed they are to the relationship.”
To learn more about the science of sustainable relationships, read the NY Times article, “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage.”
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LOW CONNECTION (45 OR LESS)
Your relationship is not creating opportunities that help expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to share new experiences with your partner to improve your relationship.Try looking at the quiz again to see if there is anything you can learn from it.
HOW OTHERS SCORE:
HIGHLY EXPANSIVE (60 OR GREATER)
You are in love, perhaps in the early stage of a relationship! You are having a lot of new experiences and feelings about yourself. This can be very good for a sustainable relationship. It can be harder if you lose the relationship, though. Be sure that you are learning and “expanding” by yourself, too. Almost for sure, your reward system in primitive parts of your brain is active when you look at your romantic partner.MODERATELY EXPANSIVE (45 – 60)
Your relationship has led to changes in your life and good, new experiences. There may be room for improvement, or maybe it is just right for you. Try looking at the quiz again to see if there is anything you can learn from it.As Tara Parker Pope said in the New York Times, “Studies show that the more self-expansion a person experiences through their partner, the more satisfied and committed they are to the relationship.”
To learn more about the science of sustainable relationships, read the NY Times article, “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage.”
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Question 1 of 10
1. Question
1) How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 2 of 10
2. Question
2) When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 3 of 10
3. Question
3) How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 4 of 10
4. Question
4) How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 5 of 10
5. Question
5) How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 6 of 10
6. Question
6) How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 7 of 10
7. Question
7) How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 8 of 10
8. Question
8) How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 9 of 10
9. Question
9) How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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Question 10 of 10
10. Question
10) How much does your partner increase your knowledge?
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Not Very Much Very Much
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